Thursday, June 13, 2019

So, the other night, around 11:30pm when all was quiet in the house, there was a knock on our door.

Now, there are only three reasons someone might come knocking on our door that late at night, way out in the country...

1) Somebody drove into the ditch and needs help. (Oh, this has happened before. I have stories I could tell. I'll save those for another post someday.)

2) The police are coming to tell us there has been an accident involving a family member. (Thankfully, this has never happened, and since everyone in our immediate family was accounted for, I felt safe to say that this is not what was happening.)

3) Our cattle got loose!!!! (BINGO!! This is what happened!!)

Here is my follow up on that great adventure...


Operation Steers’ Night Out...the follow-up.

1. MOST IMPORTANT: The cattle are all back and accounted for thanks to Steve, Josiah and our fabulous farmer neighbor, Brian V. 🙌ðŸŧðŸŪðŸŪ🙌ðŸŧ

2. POSSIBLY THE MOST ENTERTAINING PORTION OF THIS POST: Things that went well while helping get the cattle back in, plus a look back a few years ago on how I once helped on the farm in an emergency and the events that I thought might have ruined Josiah’s future as farm boy extraordinaire. ðŸĪĢ

First: What are some of the things that went well in Operation Steers’ Night Out?...from my perspective? 😁
NOTE: I received the dreaded, yet expected call about 20 minutes after Steve and Josiah went out, and was told to hurry up and drive up to the shed right away to help them. 😎

Ok, what I think went well...
a) I did NOT back our vehicle into a corn planter, which would have put a dent in the trunk. WIN!

b) I did NOT back into Steve’s truck, which would have smashed the trunk in even more. WIN! WIN!

c) Josiah was NOT traumatized by all of the cattle running loose or by any fender-benders that could have occurred, which could have caused him to rethink his plan to be a farmer.

In fact, as soon as Steve yelled for him to get moving because the cattle were out, Josiah got dressed and was out the front door within about two minutes after he had been contentedly lounging around watching various late-night farming, political, and/or music YouTube videos.

Remember, we got the knock on our door at 11:30pm when some of us were falling asleep. ðŸ˜īðŸ˜ī
Thank you to our selfless neighbors who were probably also sleeping, but got up, drove over and came a knockin' to let us know there were cattle in their back yard. ðŸ˜ģ😐ðŸŪðŸŪðŸŪðŸŪðŸŪðŸŪðŸŪ

Josiah drove the truck around the farm and searched for cattle on foot (nearly got run over by a big black steer who didn’t see him and he didn’t see it…because it was so dark outside.

Black cattle on the loose...at night.
Just imagine the implications this could have.

He opened/closed gates, and basically did whatever Steve told him to do, etc., all to help get the cattle back home.
And just an FYI, this is not a casual, walk at your own pace type of thing.
You need to hustle!
Hustle your hustle!

Josiah moved around on the farm as if he’d been doing these things his whole life.
Well, he probably would have been doing these things his whole life had it not been for a fateful event that took place years earlier, which made me think he’d never be interested in farming, or at least working with animals; specifically cattle or anything resembling cattle, again.

Believe me when I say he’s come a very long way in 13 1/2 years.

So, if you have a few minutes, read on…

About 13 1/2 years ago, around this time in June, I had a 2-year-old farmer boy and was pregnant with a future 🐷 farmer girl.

Josiah and I were hanging out inside, probably watching Bear in the Big Blue House, Barney, or Bob the Builder, when I looked out the window and saw 6 HUGE black angus bulls in our front yard.

Now, this is not sweet Bessie the cow, times 6.
These are incredibly massive creatures that I am sure can knock down the walls of our home in an instant....just by breathing heavily. 😉

Steve always tells me that when any cattle get loose, you drop what you are doing and get outside to get them back in, no matter what.

You do what you have to do.

Yikes! 😎
So much pressure!

I thought to myself that surely Steve would be around the farm, so a quick phone call to him would have him running to the rescue. Right?
Ha! Ha! Not quite.
I get his voicemail...which he rarely checks, so I just hang up.

I can’t tell you the panic I feel as I see these giant animals outside our window.
Here’s me in my pregnant, hormonal craziness with a two-year-old at my feet, and the only thing I can think of is the fact that I am NOT the typical farmer’s wife.
I am a Chicagoan at heart who clearly did not know what she was getting herself into when she married a farmer. ðŸĪ”
I may or may not still feel this way 17 years into this adventure of a lifetime.ðŸĪŠðŸ˜‰

Note...I actually wouldn’t trade it for anything. 😊

Maybe if I call Steve a few more times he will answer and I won’t have to go out there. ðŸŪ😎

Wrong.

Voicemail. 🙄
Voicemail. 😐
Voicemail. 😠

I decide that I should probably buck up and go find Steve on the farm and pray these 6 enormous beasts would stay put and graze on our lawn for awhile.

So I tell Josiah that we are going to go find daddy on the farm, which is always exciting for him. ðŸĨģðŸĪ—ðŸĪĐ
Let the adventure begin!!!

There is no time to waste, so I quickly get into the driver’s seat of the car that we had just bought about 4 weeks earlier, and sit Josiah on my lap.

Why yes, OF COURSE I know he should be in his rear-facing car seat in the back seat with his 5-point harness properly secured and the chest clip in the correct position. 🙄

Yes, I DO realize his head and neck are now two inches from the air bag as he sits on my lap. 😎

Indeed, I HAVE read the airbag warning label on the inside of the car visor many times and realize my child’s head could fly right off if the air bag is deployed.

And no, we are NOT buckled in.

Not my best parenting moment, but it is go-time on the farm!

Plus, I am a very careful driver. 😉
Everything will be fine. 😐

Heck! Farm kids are exposed to all kinds of dangers on their property (am I right, farming people?) and I figure this probably won’t be what will ultimately take him out. 🙃

I digress.

Anyway, I try to call Steve again before backing out of the driveway.

Voicemail. ðŸ˜Đ ðŸ˜Ī ðŸ˜Đ

I look to my left and see the 4 bulls still in the yard.
FOUR bulls???!!
There were 6 of them just a second ago!

In my (controlled) panic, I tell Josiah that we need to go find the other 2 bulls and daddy right away.

I proceed to quickly back down the driveway without even looking behind me or in my rear view mirror, or any mirror, for that matter.
I blame it all on my hormones and the sheer panic at the thought of losing those bulls. 😉

My confidence in being a good farm wife is definitely sliding downhill fast, but I need to do what it takes to help Steve.

Suddenly, I come to a halt because I hit something behind me.

Uh-oh. 😧

I have a funny feeling this is not Steve’s idea of me “helping”.

I look back. ðŸ˜ģ

Now, why in the world would Steve park his corn planter at the end of our driveway? 🧐

Actually, it isn’t RIGHT at the end.
We have a main driveway off of the road that leads to all of our outbuildings and then another driveway that sits perpendicular to it that leads up to our house.
The corn planter sits on that main driveway just as you back out of the house driveway.
Still, it IS pretty much right at the end...and it’s in my way. ðŸĪĻ😝

Anyway, I back right into it.
Oops. ðŸ˜Ū

This is, without a doubt, not helpful to Steve at all.

Josiah is definitely startled, as am I, but we need to disregard this minor accident for now and find not only Steve, but the 2 bulls that have decided to blaze their own trail.

I drive all over the farm, yelling for him.
I am also calling his phone, again and again.
I am beginning to lose my mind.
Where is heeeeeee????? ðŸ˜ą

Maybe we should just go back inside and pretend we never saw the bulls. 😎
I might actually be okay with that.

Meanwhile, Josiah is probably wondering what in the heck is going on with his emotional wreck of a mom, and where the other big, black bulls went.

SIDE NOTE: It is very clear at this point that if something were to ever happen to Steve, I should NOT run the farm. 👌

I decide to make one last call, and low and behold, Steve FINALLY answers!! ðŸĪ 

Hallelujah!! 🙌ðŸŧ🙌ðŸŧ🙌ðŸŧ🙌ðŸŧ🙌ðŸŧ🙌ðŸŧ

“WHERE ARE YOU??!! THE BULLS ARE LOOSE AND I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND YOU!!!!”

He was on the other side of the barn.
The other.side.of.the.barn.
A couple.hundred.yards.away. 😐🙄ðŸ˜ĪðŸ˜Đ😭

Then, I spot the other 2 bulls!!!
They are down by the barn door!!

Steve tells me to drive over there and position the car so they can’t run toward the road and then he will walk over and get them back inside their pen.

So I back up near them to try to keep them there until Steve comes to the rescue. ðŸĪ ðŸ˜

Josiah is just along for the ride and seems to be going with the flow for the most part. Whew!

So, runaway bulls, backing into the corn planter, and watching his mama lose it has not traumatized this sweet boy.
So thankful. 🙏❤️

Steve shows up a moment later and gets the two bulls into a pen close by.
He then tells me to drive up the driveway by the other 4 in the yard to keep them from moving toward the road.

So, that’s just what I do.

Steve walks up to my car, looks in the window to see his unraveling wife with his heir to the Halleen Farm dynasty sitting on his poor mama’s lap.

I hysterically tell him that I was trying to hurry to find him and backed into his corn planter.

I then ask him why he would park it at the end of the driveway and why hasn’t he been answering his phone or heard me yelling for him?!!!

His first (and only, I believe) response....

“What?!! Did you damage the planter!!?”

Wait. What did he just ask me? ðŸĪŊ

Why is he not asking if his son and pregnant wife are ok?

“Did you damage the planter!!?” 🙄

So, of course I am not only hysterical, but now I’m livid ðŸ˜Ī, extremely hormonal and wondering why I signed up for this.

God surely has a sense of humor, right??
Or was He testing my faith to see if I trusted that He knew exactly what He was doing when He put a farmer and a city slicker together?

Surely He has good plans for us, right?

I am not buying it at this moment.

On another note, if you’ve seen the many non-expressive faces in photos of Josiah over the years, you can imagine his face at this moment, except we all know he was probably freaking out inside. ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ąðŸ˜ąðŸ˜
Observing.
Breathing.
Freaking out inside.

Steve walks to the back of the car to find a decent sized dent in the trunk.

Oops. ðŸ˜ģ😎

He is definitely not happy and I’m a bit more hysterical and angry at this point.

I am angry that he obviously only cares about his planter and his bulls and not his wife, farmer boy or future 🐖 farmer girl.

He obviously doesn’t appreciate my dropping everything to help get the bulls in their pen and risking his farmer boy’s life, future 🐷farmer girl’s life, and his wife’s life, to do it!!!!

Note: this is MY perspective on it all at the time.
His may slightly differ.
I’m sure his take on what happened is actually much different from mine.
Go ask him and see what he says.
It should be interesting. 🙄

Anyway, he’s not happy with me at this moment and time is of the essence in getting the bulls in, so he yells at me to back the car up.
Now, I can’t remember exactly why he told me to do that, but I did. I think I had to block the driveway so when he got the other bulls in, they wouldn’t go towards the road??
Ya, that’s sounds good. 😉

In my mess of emotions (mostly anger right now because he obviously doesn’t care about me or his children 😜) I, once again, don’t look behind me or in my rear view mirror, or any mirror, for that matter, and I SMASH right into the front end of his pickup truck!!!

No joke. 😎

Why in the world would he park his truck right behind me??? ðŸĪŠ

Needless to say, that minor dent in my trunk is now a major one! ðŸ˜Ŧ

All I remember, after that, is Steve yelling at me to pull up the driveway and just go back in the house.

I’m pretty sure he means that he should probably handle things from there, right? 😕 😎

By now, I’m confident that Josiah is quite emotionally traumatized.

But, hey!! The airbag never deployed, which meant his head was still intact and he stayed put on my lap the whole 5 minutes in which all of this actually took place. ðŸĪĄ

So THAT’S good news!! 👍ðŸŧ

I go inside and wait for Steve to get the bulls in their pen and to come in the house.

I don’t know what to expect but I am fairly certain he is going to divorce me. ☹️

After a little while, he comes inside, looks at me, and says, “I don’t know whether to laugh or be mad at you.”

I am thankful he chose laughter. 😌❤️

But from that day on, for quite a few years, Josiah would get anxious whenever any cattle got loose and he thought they could open our door and come in the house.
He would go up to his bedroom, which he called his “tower” because it was a safe, high-up place where he could look out his window to see where the cattle were.
After the “accidents” he would not go near the big dent in our car, but was fine after we got it fixed.
He would get anxious and not want to go with me in the car when I had to help Steve get the occasional loose steer or hefer back home. He thought they’d somehow get into our car.

Any hope of him becoming a (cattle) farmer, seemed to disappear....for many years.

Remind me to tell you about the day he and I came face to face with a gargantuan bison bull at Yellowstone a few years later.
Now, THAT definitely sent him (and me) over the edge.
And picture our car surrounded by hundreds of bison at Custer State Park. ðŸ˜ģ

Both of these situations had him freaking out on the inside AND the outside. ðŸĪŊ

Good memories. 😜

Now that Josiah is a teenager, he’s really stepped up to the plate and does what needs to be done on the farm, with strength and courage.

I love that he loves it all, now!

He does maintain that same, classic, non-expressive face in most situations, but I’m pretty sure he’s not freaking out on the inside.

I bet he’s smiling on inside. 😐😁ðŸĪ ðŸ˜ðŸ˜†ðŸ˜†ðŸ˜†ðŸ˜†