(Originally posted on Facebook)
June 14, 2017
As I have watched my mom's health decline and the dementia move in and take over, I can't help but notice how she no longer cares about the things she used to.
She no longer asks about her home.
Her "things".
The jail ministry she began so many years ago and loved with such a passion.
Her finances.
Her friends.
Her family.
The list goes on....
She no longer goes to any doctor or specialist appointments for her myriad of chronic health issues.
...She's tired.
This was the first year she didn't call me on my birthday.
Her grandkids' birthdays went by without a thought.
The things that once made her angry...or happy, for that matter, have faded into the distant background.
Conversations with her are mostly one-sided and last for a few minutes at most.
She is confused a lot of the time and struggles to
breathe.
eat.
swallow.
and has not walked in over 2 years.
BUT...
she knows when I'm sitting with her.
She knows she is LOVED.
This is the ONLY thing that matters, when it all comes down to it.
When all of the so-called "important" things are stripped away and you're left with merely existing day to day...
LOVE is what matters most.
Guess what?
LOVE matters most even when we have all of those "important" things in place.
She claimed Jesus years ago as her Lord and Savior and her Home is in heaven.
That can not be stripped away from her.
And because of LOVE, her eternity is secured.
nothing. else. matters.
Why am I sharing all of this?
Because I'm tired of seeing people tear others down, whether it be
our President.
a neighbor.
or a friend of a friend of a friend on Facebook.
Complaining about this or that.
Severed relationships.
Wanting things to go their way.
People walking away from friendships and other relationships because they just don't want to deal with the things that rub them the wrong way.
People thinking they are better than others.
Shall I go on?
I am not thinking of anyone in particular when I write these things, but am seeing it happen all over.
...including in myself.
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This past weekend, my kids and I watched a guy in the Wisconsin Dells, in his shiny red convertible corvette, wearing his gold chains and no shirt, thinking he's all that, strutting around, screaming and swearing at a mom in a minivan at a gas pump who was taking a little longer than he'd like.
His patience while waiting behind her in line had worn out.
Who does he think he is?
How is he better than her?
What gives him the right to intimidate this woman and her children?
Seriously.
My mom no longer sees these crazy things happen.
She no longer thinks about politics.
The state of our country.
Her neighbor.
The hundreds of inmates she ministered to over the years.
Any of her other relationships.
Or even the shiny pink Cadillac she once had as an executive director with Mary Kay Cosmetics.
She no longer cares about having her "Mary Kay" face on or dressing up.
...She exists.
She sits in her wheelchair in her room and has the old westerns playing on her tv in the background.
She does "participate" in activities such as music time or has coffee and treats with the other residents a couple times a day.
The simple things are enjoyed in that moment...
But then she is wheeled back to her room.
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She enjoys watching the videos I show her of Josiah playing the drums or guitar and watching clips from Lydia's baseball or basketball games.
She lights up, in fact, when she watches (with her eyes closed) and listens.
Then she dozes off in her chair, labored in her breathing with no conversations to be had.
But she knows she is LOVED.
Even if for a moment...she knows she is LOVED.
So while we're ranting about what's happening in our country.
Complaining about relationships.
Getting annoyed because we have to wait in line.
Striving to be "successful".
Wishing we had this or that.
Collecting all of our "things"...
we must remember what is most important.
LOVE.
I am so blessed to LOVE my mom by just being with her in the moment.
All other things have been stripped away and God has shown me that in all of the years she and I did not get along or see eye to eye, there was always...
LOVE.
I was just blinded by all of my own
pride.
anger.
and bitterness to see that.
...To see LOVE.
But I am grateful now to have this time with her.
No talk of politics.
No talk of who is right or wrong.
No talk of would have, could have, should have.
Nobody is better than the other.
The ground is level at the foot of the cross.
Grace upon grace.
So....
Love one another better.
Care about others more.
Be selfless even when we don't feel like it.
Be compassionate toward everyone.
Be a loyal friend always...that means through thick and thin.
Reconcile with others whenever possible.
Find joy in the simple things every day.
Put the phone down and turn the computer off often.
Listen well.
Play with your kids even when there are "better" things to do.
Do good at every opportunity.
Lighten up...a lot.
LOVE above all things.
