"What's that in your eye?"--For those who have FRACTURED RELATIONSHIPS... Please Read On

This morning I read my devotion for the day and I have to say it really hit home. I have experienced a fractured relationship and God has really shown me over the last few years, the condition of my own heart. It wasn't very pretty. I felt that because I had been hurt by someone repeatedly over the course of my life, I had the right to be bitter, resentful, and even tell others about how I had been wronged and had had enough.  

Well, God has shown me that I needed to take responsiblilty for the way I respond to the offense. "What's that in your eye?"  I also needed to love this person the way He loves this person. I have prayed for that for for years, that I would love this child of God the way that He loves His child....flaws and all. After all, if I look at my own heart, I will find some not so pretty stuff in there too. And guess what?  God loves me despite it all!  That's AMAZING grace, right there.  What if we loved others like that?  Lord, change the attitude of my heart.

We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. ALL, not some. The ground is level at the foot of the cross.  So, with all of that said, I am sharing the devotion I read this morning...

Speck Work (Taken from The Quiet Place-Daily Devotional Readings by Nancy Leigh DeMoss)

"Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is a big log in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your own brother's eye." ~Matthew 7:4-5

OFTEN, AFTER ENDURING THE UNDESERVED PAIN OF another's sin against us, we (the offended) become theoffender in the way we respond to the original or ongoing injustice.  So even though we may have done little or nothing to provoke what first happened, we have now added our own sin into the mix.  And it is our own sin that we must deal with first.

In this familiar passage from the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus emphasized the importance of dealing with our own sin before trying to deal with others' failures.  This isn't to minimize what our "brother" may have done but rather to affirm that it's hard to be objective about his sin when we've got a beam in our own eye.  It's hard to help him deal with his own issue--not to mention hypocritical on our part--if we haven't confessed our own sin, even if it was a reaction to his sin in the first place.

So, be honest: Has someone else's sin begotten sin in your own life?  Then confess it--to them, if possible and appropriate.  Not in a way that excuses you, not in a way that blames them for pushing you to it, not in a way that leads you into even more sin by stirring up your anger against them,  Take full responsibility for your own sin.

"But I'm only 5 percent responsible for this whole thing!"  Then assume 100 percent responsibility for your 5 percent.  Humble yourself.  Clear your conscience.  Seek forgiveness.  Then let God use you to minister grace to your brother in need.

Do you have a fractured relationship with another person?  Is it possible that you have been overlooking your share of the blame--just as you feel the other person has done?  What might an honest evaluation expose in your own heart?

It's HERE!!! It's finally HERE!!!!

So, many of you know that for the last month I have been reading the pre-release copy of Jill Savage's book, No More Perfect Moms. Well the time has finally come!!  It is available now and I can not recommend this book enough for all the mamas out there! Truly! The following is a review I wrote for it....

"Are you tired of yelling at your kids to "Stop yelling at your sister (or brother)!!"??  Why do I expect perfection from my kids, my husband, my friends, etc. when I am far from perfect? Unrealistic expectations can deflate someone very fast, including myself! No More Perfect Moms is not your typical parenting book. Jill is the real deal and she lays it out "perfectly" for us. We need God's grace each and every day, sometimes moment by moment. When we truly live IN His grace, we are able to pour that same grace out onto others in our lives. You will not be disappointed in this book. It's great to read in a group and/or on your own. You will be amazed, relieved, and even cry as you discover that you are not the only one out there who has what Jill calls the "perfection infection".  Learn that it is okay NOT to be perfect, to have the perfect body, perfect kids, perfect marriage, perfect home, perfect friends, etc. No More Perfect Moms is a MUST read and a MUST share!"


There is even a free video curriculum that goes along with the book. 
Video clips and discussion questions. Just click on the tab for the week you are on and view the video clip. If you scroll below the video clip you will find a link to discussion questions as well as links to other great resources.  

Real people, living real lives, with real "stuff" and there is real encouragement along the way. 


Where can you purchase a copy or 5 or 10????? ;)
Amazon paperback
Amazon Kindle version
Barnes and Noble paperback
Barnes and Noble Nook version
Christianbook.com paperback
Christianbook.com eBook version

But Wait!! Or actually, Don't Wait!! See below for information on bonus resources you will receive if you purchase this week!!

_________________________________________________________________________________

Everyone loves a good investment…especially one that comes with a big bonus!  This is one of those investments that you don’t want to miss!

Purchase Jill Savage’s new book No More Perfect Moms anytime between February 3-9 (online or at a store…and yes, electronic versions such as Kindle and Nook count too!) Send a copy of your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu.  Scan it, take a picture of it - just be sure to send it to the email! You'll be given access to well over $100 worth of resources that will help you on your mothering journey - absolutely free! 

(Note: If you purchase multiple copies for a group, you will be able to email each person the link for all that is listed below.)

What will you receive?

6 Sixty Minute Audio Workshops (MP3 format) from Hearts at Home

·       Desperate for Wisdom - Dr. Juli Slattery 

·       How to Fight for Your Marriage - Dr. Juli Slattery

·       It is Well with Your Soul - Jennifer Rothschild

·       Multiple Intelligences - Dr. Kathy Koch

·       Ten Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs - Jill Savage

·       The God Who Sees You - Tammy Maltby

4 Printables from Hearts at Home

·       10 Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs

·       “Love Is”—I Corinthians 13 for Parents

·       Mom Rules

·       How to Fight Fair In Marriage

3 Free E-book’s (including PDF, Kindle, iPad, and Nook editions!) from Moody Publishers

·       Live Free by Kendra Smiley

·       Growing Grateful Kids by Susie Larsen

·       Real Moms Real Jesus by Jill Savage

1 Contest Entry

You will be entered in a drawing to win hotel accommodations and two Hearts at Home Mom Conference registrations for you and a friend at a conference of your choice! (If unable to attend a conference, a Hearts at Home Conference To-Go will be substituted for the winner and a friend.)

This offer is available for this week only (Feb 3-9)! Grab a copy of No More Perfect Moms, scan your receipt, email it, and start enjoying your new book PLUS all of the extra bonuses you’ll receive!  It’s “mom university” delivered right to your computer!

Confession Time: Life is messy...this includes my HOUSE

So, I am in the middle of reading Jill Savage's book, No More Perfect Moms, and am on the chapter about no more perfect homes.  This could not have come at a better time as I sit in the middle of what appears to be a disaster area.  Well, it does not APPEAR to be, it IS a disaster area.  I find myself constantly after my family to put their dishes away, bring their dirty clothes to their hamper, pick up their rooms because I'm coming in with a vacuum and if there is anything on the floor it will be put in the garbage.  Oh, and please do not leave your banana peel stuffed under the couch.  This is why we have garbage cans.  Oh, and by the way, can you please take the garbage out?  Please push in your chair.  Do we HAVE to keep your 2,000,000 piece Lego set in the middle of the living room?  And really, do we need to make the bedroom of all 1,000 baby dolls and stuffed animals be in the living room right next to the Lego set?  Really?  And let's not even mention the finger prints all over the glass door to the office or the chips and dents in the walls.  Sigh.
I could go on and on but I am brought to a halt as I look at what I am responsible for...the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes, a dishwasher full of clean ones that need to be put away but somehow it seems easier to just open the door and grab what you need.  Then there is the laundry room where there are at least 2 baskets full of clean, folded laundry just waiting to be put away. There is a dryer full of wrinkled clothes that can be easily fixed by throwing in a damp towel and running the dryer for another 20 minutes, and a washer with a load that surely needs to be re-washed because it's been sitting in there for quite some time.  Gross...but true story.
I wonder if there will ever be a day when my kids will actually be able to find ALL of their clothes neatly put away in their drawers instead of having to search the laundry room for a clean pair of socks or jeans.  I wonder if that day will come when my husband will find a spoon in the kitchen drawer when he opens it.  I think he actually checks the dishwasher first. ;-)  Fun Fact: The spoon is the most used piece of silverware in the Halleen home because it is rare that they are ever in the drawer.  Maybe I'll just buy another set! ;-)
Will there ever be a day where everything is put back exactly where it belongs...in a timely manner?  What exactly IS a timely manner anyway?  Will I ever have a "normal-looking" home?  But what IS "normal-looking"?  Here is my big confession for the day....our Christmas tree is still up!!!  Sshhhhhhh.  And for added excitement, just about each night I hear an ornament slide down a dry, greenish, brownish, crispy branch and fall, along with a bunch of dead pine needles to the floor and onto the leftover piles of Christmas stocking stuffers and candy canes scattered underneath. For the last couple of weeks I have been telling the kids that TODAY is THE day I will take the Christmas tree down. Then hours later when the kids get home from school they see the once lush, fragrant, green Balsam Fir still standing...leaning is more like it, in the corner bidding them good afternoon.  It has obviously become part of our decor. Then my daughter so sweetly says to me, "Mom, at least you didn't say you PROMISE to take it down."   Somehow by not including that word into my statement makes it all okay to her.  Well, my word is my word. What ever I say I am going to do, I should do, right?
So then I think I am letting my whole house go to pot and my family must think I am lazy and really do sit around all day eating bon-bons.  Did I mention that I am a stay-at-home mom???  Both kids are in school for 7 hours. Surely this is plenty of time to get the house in tip-top shape so that when evening comes, my husband will walk in the door to the smell of a mouth-watering roast in the oven and bread cooling on the counter, and the kids will have all of their homework done (well, they actually do have it done....99.5% of the time) and are playing quietly and nicely together.  Oh, and I am NOT in sweat pants or a sweat shirt when I greet my hubby. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm....I am suddenly having scenes from Father Knows Best and Leave it to Beaver flash before my eyes.  I am also thinking about what all of YOU are thinking about me as you read this tale of truth about my life.  It's the perfection infection that seeps into my life as I imagine everybody else having the picture perfect, "normal" home.
How deflating.  Sigh.
The truth is, I am not perfect. I do not have a perfect home, perfect kids, perfect body, perfect marriage, perfect anything.  I am a woman who struggles with all of those areas and more.  And the realistic side of me knows that I am NOT the only one.  Which means that if any of this resonates with you, YOU are not the only one either! Can I get an AMEN?
Now, I feel like I am really making it sound like I DO sit around all day eating bon-bons (btw, are they a real thing?  I don't think I have ever actually tried one.  But chocolate truffles?  Now, this is something I know about! ;-)  But the truth is, I do have a million few other things I am taking care of during the day.  I tend to go through a season where I am on top of things at home, but then there are other seasons where I get in a slight funk.  Sometimes I feel like I have more funky seasons than not. and I feel like I am barely hanging on like that ornament about to fall from a crispy branch. :/


But as I  look around our home, God shows me things from His perspective....He see the Legos set up in the living room and reminds me that my son has been creating and exploring a whole new world and finds so much joy in that.  And that pile of stuffed animals, baby dolls and blankets left just beside the Legos?  God shows me that this is where my daughter lays her precious "children" down for a reeeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy long nap.  And then there is Buzz Lightyear laying nearby with a leash around his neck.  Um, I think she was helping him fly to infinity and beyond. ;-)  The chairs that are not pushed in at the table?  Well, this is evidence that my family sat down to eat a meal together.  Shall I mention the crumbs on the floor?  Come on...you know you have crumbs on your floor too.  More evidence of life in our home.  The spoon that had to be dug out from underneath a pile of dishes that have yet to washed?  How blessed I am to cook a meal for those I love.  That pair of pants my son had to go get this morning...out of the dryer...slightly wrinkled?  I am reminded that my son is healthy and can run to the laundry room to get those pants and that I have a working dryer, electricity, and hands to fold the clothes that my family will wear.  And let's talk about the fingerprints on the glass door.  Those are the unique prints that God gave my daughter.  She has been leaving her precious prints on my heart from the very moment I knew about her.  What a blessing that she can make her mark in this world with her sweet and sassy personality, as well as on the glass door!  The dents and chips in the walls?  God shows me that these are the result of my kiddos battling to the end with their light sabers, and racing their cars down the hallway only for the blow to be "cushioned" by the wall.  I can hear their laughter as I think about those moments.  Shall I mention the banana peel?  Well, I still think that could go in the garbage promptly after the banana is consumed. ;-)
And finally...that Christmas tree that is still leaning up with it's star about to crash to the floor?  This is a reminder of the Christmas season, the birth of Jesus.  It is a reminder of the blessing of a Savior who poured His grace out on me when I didn't deserve it and still don't.  He continues to pour His grace out on me daily.  He knows my struggles and my imperfections and loves me despite it all.
Can I do a better job of keeping our home in order? Absolutely.  I am a work in progress.  Jill's book has some wonderful tips on how to help keep things in order and dumping the expectation of perfection.

God cares about this home.  Not necessarily the stuff inside of it, but rather the hearts in this home.  I am reminded that He loves us deeply, no matter what, perfect home or not.  It's all about perspective.  My perspective causes me to be irritated, impatient, unkind, and controlling.  But His perspective shows me that He is at work in each of us and has blessed us beyond measure.  What joy!  I want to live in that joy in ALL seasons.  By His grace.

Colossians 3:17... And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Oh, to be the PERFECT MOM..NOT

Attention ALL MOTHERS, MOMS, MOMMIES, MAMAS, MAS, you know who you are!! :)

Do you need some encouragement??  Well, I know I sure do!! 
I am very excited and humbled (Can one be described in those two ways in the same sentence? Hmmm. Well, it’s exactly how I feel at the moment.) Where was I?...Oh, I am very excited and humbled to be on the launch team to help promote Jill Savage’s new book called No More Perfect Moms.  As I am reading through the book (another exciting and humbling thing, to be able to read it before its release), I am confident that what is written on its pages will resonate with you on many levels. 
You WILL be encouraged to know that you are NOT alone on this journey called MOTHERHOOD. 
Take me, for example...Oh sure, I can do the happy-happy-joy-joy song and dance routine just as good as the next mom…making homemade ho-ho cakes, filming my kids’ in the kitchen as they create (a mess) fabulous concoctions, photographing them as they swing through the trees on a beautiful fall day without a care in the world, keeping it together using my even-keeled yet firm voice when my kids start brawling in public. And of course they (don’t) stop fighting instantly. And I am sure if you looked close enough you'd' see the beads of sweat on my forehead. Sigh. 
Do we really all have a fairy-tale existence? Sure…only if you live in the magical world of Disney! Right? ;-)  I am really good at looking like I have it all together on the outside but then once I am behind closed doors…YIKES!  I can easily transform into the scary villainess, and it does not always happen behind closed doors, either.   I have been THAT mom who is driving on the highway screaming my head off while my 5 year old daughter is crying because I am yelling at her to STOP touching her brother (for the 5 millionth time) and my son has his hands over his ears because I am screaming so loud. Then I scream that I know I am sinning and making God sad by
 losing my temper but "I don't even care right now!!!"  wow. Yep.  I am pretty sure I am ruining my kids. Sigh.

So there you have it.  I am NOT a perfect mom.  
But by God’s amazing, undeserved grace, I am continually being shaped and molded into the mama He has designed me to be.  I could not do this job, this blessing, this beautiful gift called motherhood, otherwise.  
When I just can't get it right, when I feel like a failure, He hears my voice. He hears my cry. 
He is with me.  
I am His.



So, if any of this resonates with you, you will want to read Jill's book. :)

Keep an eye out for more information as we get closer to the No More Perfect Moms release date. (only 34 days away!)  I will be blogging more about it in the coming weeks.  Woot! :)  This was just the thing to get my tired blog up and moving again.  It's ONLY been what???  2 1/2 years since I've written anything!!!  So I'm back on the blog wagon.

Here are some things you can do in the meantime:

• Get signed up for Jill’s free 31-Day email challenge that starts TODAY. What a fabulous way to start the New Year!! You will be SO encouraged! You can find more info and sign up on Jill’s website. http://www.jillsavage.org/?p=4657 

• WAIT to buy the book until February 4-9th, as there will be additional bonus offerings worth more than $100 that Hearts at Home and Moody Publishers will throw in if you wait until then to buy. Plus, it will help the book get a strong start. Sign up here to be reminded of the release date.http://www.hearts-at-home.org/index.php/nmpm-about/nmpm-about-3

• Check out the Hearts at Home website to learn more about the book, share your stories, and find some good mama resources. http://www.hearts-at-home.org/index.php/nmpm-home