Friday, January 18, 2013

Confession Time: Life is messy...this includes my HOUSE

So, I am in the middle of reading Jill Savage's book, No More Perfect Moms, and am on the chapter about no more perfect homes.  This could not have come at a better time as I sit in the middle of what appears to be a disaster area.  Well, it does not APPEAR to be, it IS a disaster area.  I find myself constantly after my family to put their dishes away, bring their dirty clothes to their hamper, pick up their rooms because I'm coming in with a vacuum and if there is anything on the floor it will be put in the garbage.  Oh, and please do not leave your banana peel stuffed under the couch.  This is why we have garbage cans.  Oh, and by the way, can you please take the garbage out?  Please push in your chair.  Do we HAVE to keep your 2,000,000 piece Lego set in the middle of the living room?  And really, do we need to make the bedroom of all 1,000 baby dolls and stuffed animals be in the living room right next to the Lego set?  Really?  And let's not even mention the finger prints all over the glass door to the office or the chips and dents in the walls.  Sigh.
I could go on and on but I am brought to a halt as I look at what I am responsible for...the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes, a dishwasher full of clean ones that need to be put away but somehow it seems easier to just open the door and grab what you need.  Then there is the laundry room where there are at least 2 baskets full of clean, folded laundry just waiting to be put away. There is a dryer full of wrinkled clothes that can be easily fixed by throwing in a damp towel and running the dryer for another 20 minutes, and a washer with a load that surely needs to be re-washed because it's been sitting in there for quite some time.  Gross...but true story.
I wonder if there will ever be a day when my kids will actually be able to find ALL of their clothes neatly put away in their drawers instead of having to search the laundry room for a clean pair of socks or jeans.  I wonder if that day will come when my husband will find a spoon in the kitchen drawer when he opens it.  I think he actually checks the dishwasher first. ;-)  Fun Fact: The spoon is the most used piece of silverware in the Halleen home because it is rare that they are ever in the drawer.  Maybe I'll just buy another set! ;-)
Will there ever be a day where everything is put back exactly where it belongs...in a timely manner?  What exactly IS a timely manner anyway?  Will I ever have a "normal-looking" home?  But what IS "normal-looking"?  Here is my big confession for the day....our Christmas tree is still up!!!  Sshhhhhhh.  And for added excitement, just about each night I hear an ornament slide down a dry, greenish, brownish, crispy branch and fall, along with a bunch of dead pine needles to the floor and onto the leftover piles of Christmas stocking stuffers and candy canes scattered underneath. For the last couple of weeks I have been telling the kids that TODAY is THE day I will take the Christmas tree down. Then hours later when the kids get home from school they see the once lush, fragrant, green Balsam Fir still standing...leaning is more like it, in the corner bidding them good afternoon.  It has obviously become part of our decor. Then my daughter so sweetly says to me, "Mom, at least you didn't say you PROMISE to take it down."   Somehow by not including that word into my statement makes it all okay to her.  Well, my word is my word. What ever I say I am going to do, I should do, right?
So then I think I am letting my whole house go to pot and my family must think I am lazy and really do sit around all day eating bon-bons.  Did I mention that I am a stay-at-home mom???  Both kids are in school for 7 hours. Surely this is plenty of time to get the house in tip-top shape so that when evening comes, my husband will walk in the door to the smell of a mouth-watering roast in the oven and bread cooling on the counter, and the kids will have all of their homework done (well, they actually do have it done....99.5% of the time) and are playing quietly and nicely together.  Oh, and I am NOT in sweat pants or a sweat shirt when I greet my hubby. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm....I am suddenly having scenes from Father Knows Best and Leave it to Beaver flash before my eyes.  I am also thinking about what all of YOU are thinking about me as you read this tale of truth about my life.  It's the perfection infection that seeps into my life as I imagine everybody else having the picture perfect, "normal" home.
How deflating.  Sigh.
The truth is, I am not perfect. I do not have a perfect home, perfect kids, perfect body, perfect marriage, perfect anything.  I am a woman who struggles with all of those areas and more.  And the realistic side of me knows that I am NOT the only one.  Which means that if any of this resonates with you, YOU are not the only one either! Can I get an AMEN?
Now, I feel like I am really making it sound like I DO sit around all day eating bon-bons (btw, are they a real thing?  I don't think I have ever actually tried one.  But chocolate truffles?  Now, this is something I know about! ;-)  But the truth is, I do have a million few other things I am taking care of during the day.  I tend to go through a season where I am on top of things at home, but then there are other seasons where I get in a slight funk.  Sometimes I feel like I have more funky seasons than not. and I feel like I am barely hanging on like that ornament about to fall from a crispy branch. :/


But as I  look around our home, God shows me things from His perspective....He see the Legos set up in the living room and reminds me that my son has been creating and exploring a whole new world and finds so much joy in that.  And that pile of stuffed animals, baby dolls and blankets left just beside the Legos?  God shows me that this is where my daughter lays her precious "children" down for a reeeeeeaaaalllllyyyyy long nap.  And then there is Buzz Lightyear laying nearby with a leash around his neck.  Um, I think she was helping him fly to infinity and beyond. ;-)  The chairs that are not pushed in at the table?  Well, this is evidence that my family sat down to eat a meal together.  Shall I mention the crumbs on the floor?  Come on...you know you have crumbs on your floor too.  More evidence of life in our home.  The spoon that had to be dug out from underneath a pile of dishes that have yet to washed?  How blessed I am to cook a meal for those I love.  That pair of pants my son had to go get this morning...out of the dryer...slightly wrinkled?  I am reminded that my son is healthy and can run to the laundry room to get those pants and that I have a working dryer, electricity, and hands to fold the clothes that my family will wear.  And let's talk about the fingerprints on the glass door.  Those are the unique prints that God gave my daughter.  She has been leaving her precious prints on my heart from the very moment I knew about her.  What a blessing that she can make her mark in this world with her sweet and sassy personality, as well as on the glass door!  The dents and chips in the walls?  God shows me that these are the result of my kiddos battling to the end with their light sabers, and racing their cars down the hallway only for the blow to be "cushioned" by the wall.  I can hear their laughter as I think about those moments.  Shall I mention the banana peel?  Well, I still think that could go in the garbage promptly after the banana is consumed. ;-)
And finally...that Christmas tree that is still leaning up with it's star about to crash to the floor?  This is a reminder of the Christmas season, the birth of Jesus.  It is a reminder of the blessing of a Savior who poured His grace out on me when I didn't deserve it and still don't.  He continues to pour His grace out on me daily.  He knows my struggles and my imperfections and loves me despite it all.
Can I do a better job of keeping our home in order? Absolutely.  I am a work in progress.  Jill's book has some wonderful tips on how to help keep things in order and dumping the expectation of perfection.

God cares about this home.  Not necessarily the stuff inside of it, but rather the hearts in this home.  I am reminded that He loves us deeply, no matter what, perfect home or not.  It's all about perspective.  My perspective causes me to be irritated, impatient, unkind, and controlling.  But His perspective shows me that He is at work in each of us and has blessed us beyond measure.  What joy!  I want to live in that joy in ALL seasons.  By His grace.



Colossians 3:17... And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

5 comments:

Prairie Scraps said...

Great post! I'm on the team too, and have been so imperfect as a mom, that I haven't gotten this far in the book! Can't wait to get to it. So nice to meet you through the Launch Team too! I just moved to Idaho from Sparta, WI a year ago, so feel a kindred spirit with you!

Lesley said...

AMEN! Maybe because it is the middle of winter and we're inside more or maybe just...because... I've recently been feeling the same way as you. Irritated by the mess but thankful for it at the same time.
Trying to keep perspective on what is really important. Thanks for the reminder!

Ilisa Ailts said...

Nice Wendi! Love it and I can really relate to the funk...must be winter ;) And, talk about the guilt we go through with a messy house?!

Jenny said...

Great post, thanks for your honesty! The book is awesome :)

Rachel Beran said...

Your honesty is so refreshing!!

I followed the link on Jill Savage's page. So glad I did. I am a farm wife too, in NE Iowa. Nice to 'meet" you. :)

I have a sign in my kitchen that says, "Please Excuse the Noise and the Mess the Kids are Making Happy Memories." That really puts things into perspective for me!